| Topic: My Flash-Fiction :) |
fallingstupidforyoux
Posts: 7056
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| Posted: 05 Nov 2009 05:16 PM Subject: My Flash-Fiction :) |
| Mood: annoyed | Status: fallingstupidforyoux Monty isn't very happy right now. lol :p Thursday |
In creative writing, my teacher told me about flash fiction...and I thought I'd take a stab at writing one. So here's my flash fiction. (SO FAR)
It's in the point of view of a child grown up, looking at a photo album of his parents growing up, etc. You'll notice when he's looking at different photos, haha.
The photo album is from now and the child is in the future...so haha.
Enjoy!
Photo Album
New Jersey;
My father stands five-foot-four, his dark hair almost reaching his shoulders. His smile as bright as the sun, his lip ring making him look tough, though people know his sweet side. His arm is around my mother, pulling her close to his body. He seems to be at his happiest of moods, something that is hard to keep when on tour. Even now he is beaming, hoping for the moment to stay close in time.
My mother is able to stand and look at my father eye-to-eye. Her arm is around his waist. She looks as happy as he does, love written clearly on her face. Her hair is straightened, a habit she will never learn to break. Her brown eyes have a natural sparkle in them. She looks at the camera, waiting for the picture to be taken, but she knows she doesn't want to let go of the moment.
They just met, but each felt that unique feeling. The look on their faces saying: this is how love at first sight is supposed to feel, right?
Then my father tilts his head down and kisses my mother's cheek. It makes her light up, like fireworks on the Fourth of July. He reaches down and intertwines their fingers and flashes a smile at her, knowing that it would make her day brighter. They look so happy, sitting on the stone wall. My mother lays her head on my father's strong shoulder. She is unaware of the camera in front of them. In her mind, there is nobody on the beach but them. Then, snap. The picture is taken.
I turn the page and my mother throws her cap into the air with a smile of accomplishment that covers her face. She is short, but her heels give her an extra boost. My mother is gazing off into the audience. Is she looking at my father?
I pull away as my father turns 25, still five-foot-four. He has his arm around my mother's waist, his face stuck in a grin. My mother is laughing as my father dips his finger into the frosting on his cake, tasting it.
Then I see happiness, a white dress and a beautiful bride. Flowers are colorful in the bouquet. One foot in front of the other, my mother walks up the aisle, her arm locked in with my grandfather's. My father is waiting impatiently at the altar, obviously nervous. He looks happy and proud, standing..as tall as he can. My uncle stands beside him, his best man. He looks proud of his little brother. My mother grins at my uncle before flashing the biggest smile at my father.
...just to make this clear, its not finished. I just want all of your feedback on it so far  |
There's not much I know about you
Fear will always make you blind
But the answer is in clear view
It's amazing what you'll find face to face
"You're like high on Daft Punk.."
- Denise [: |
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dipsliderideout
Posts: 13070
Bzoink Rockstar
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| Posted: 05 Nov 2009 05:22 PM Subject: RE: My Flash-Fiction :) |
It's been for ever Monty since I last read and left feedback on one of your creative works of writing. :/ But, finally I have reentered this realm.  And honestly, in terms of what you have so far, I like it. It's plain, simple, easy to read, and it's written well. |
Hey I'm Aaron, and I'm Bzoink's one and only rapping/songwriting/screamo vocal capable keyboardist. (:
"I take failure with grace"
-Andy
"keyboardists pwn. like Alex. and yes, you. lol" - Monty |
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fallingstupidforyoux
Posts: 7056
Bzoink Rockstar
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| Posted: 05 Nov 2009 06:40 PM Subject: RE: My Flash-Fiction :) |
| Mood: annoyed | Status: fallingstupidforyoux Monty isn't very happy right now. lol :p Thursday |
Ah, finally :p
But thank you! |
There's not much I know about you
Fear will always make you blind
But the answer is in clear view
It's amazing what you'll find face to face
"You're like high on Daft Punk.."
- Denise [: |
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