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October 6, 2009 at 8:04pm
Music: Fifteen - Taylor Swift
So.. its like 2 days later. And now..I don't even know.
Tyler asked me in a text (which is lame) if I would still take him back. I said to ask me not in a text. So he called. And he said he wanted me back now. But not if I'm still friends with Sage.
So if I take him back I have to stop talking to Sage completely. And Connory will hate me. But I really want him back.
And he would be giving up a lot for me too. His whole family HATES me. So they would be so pissed if he took me back.
But neither of us know what we want. We both agreed to take some time and think about whether we want to get back together and give everything to each other, work together, and make it final. Or to start all over again and try to find someone else.
I already made my decision though.
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September 23, 2009 at 11:15pm
Music: In The Aeroplane Over The Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
Subject: Good grief...
Married?? Whats wrong with me? I guess its true that love is blind then. I did want to marry him at one point. And if I think about it even now, I can see how that would be nice. When things were good, they were really good.
But when they were bad, gosh they were bad. And they were bad more often than not lately. Oh and just in case anyone reading this doesn't know, i broke up with Tyler. I guess everyone was just right about him. And I actually started to see that. And its crazy how blinded I was. He's just like his family and I have no idea why I ever thought he was different. He so wasn't. Its too much to explain. But I'm much happier this way.
Except for the fact that I'm STILL in love with Sage. I swear, its never going away no matter what I do. And he knows I like him. And he likes me too. And we're both SO flirty with each other and its amazing. But he still has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that happens to be my cousin/best friend since birth. So even if they did ever break up, I could never be with him cause that would just be mean. She would hate me. Gosh I'm selfish! I'm a horrible person.
But its not my fault that he makes me happy.
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