November 23, 2006 at 11:44pm
Mood: exhausted
Music: Something About Jesus....
Subject: The Killers.

Yeah well crushed some weird pills and snorted them....and then like took 5 advil and all together it would equal 1050 mg. And my skin is crawling and I'm freaking out. I want to talk to Alex. But don't want to call him. I feel so needy I hate it. Did I mention my skin is crawling. I'm just clawing at my face.

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May 19, 2006 at 1:41pm
Music: Mae
Subject: Suspension

BeautifulLtdown7 (12:40:17 PM): i n eed sex
(12:40:27 PM): i would love to give u sex
(12:40:31 PM): but i in danbury
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:40:37 PM): yeah but you suck ass
(12:40:39 PM): and i miss u
(12:40:40 PM): sooooo
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:42:57 PM): sooo what?
(12:43:13 PM): hmmm
(12:43:22 PM): i miss u soooooo much
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:43:58 PM): sucks to be you
(12:44:04 PM): i know
(12:44:20 PM): im sorry for liking u so much
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:44:43 PM): haha it's cool i'll let it slide
(12:44:57 PM): haha
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:46:03 PM): yup
(12:46:17 PM): yep
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:46:59 PM): good times
(12:47:20 PM): yeah dude
(12:47:35 PM): remember when we 1st did it?
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:47:51 PM): kinda yeah
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:47:59 PM): why do you
(12:48:08 PM): yeah fully, tht kikced
(12:48:09 PM): ass
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:48:10 PM): hahah do you sit around and masturbate to it?
(12:48:16 PM): yeah all the time
(12:48:17 PM): na
(12:48:21 PM): but it was great
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:48:24 PM): yeah
(12:48:40 PM): i didt think i would still be talking to u now
(12:48:44 PM): BUT
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:48:48 PM): neither did i
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:48:56 PM): but what?
(12:49:00 PM): i like u soo
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:49:25 PM): sucks for us
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:51:00 PM): so i had this wet towel whipping war at work with my friend
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:51:09 PM): hahaha and he got me so good it like broke the skin on my arm
(12:51:51 PM): haha u deserved it
(12:51:52 PM): haha
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:52:02 PM): no i didn't...that fucking hurt
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:52:09 PM): and i have another bruise on my arm from him
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:52:15 PM): haha i got him on the side though
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:52:52 PM): it seems you like pain inflicted on me
(12:53:01 PM): hehe i like to bite u
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:53:37 PM): yes you do and it hurts sometimes
(12:53:53 PM): bite me back
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:54:06 PM): then you get all horny
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:54:07 PM): hahaha
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:54:13 PM): and start hard core molesting me
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:54:20 PM): i found that out the first night
(12:54:49 PM): hey, u were hot
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:54:56 PM): HAHAH
(12:54:57 PM): and i was horney for u
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:55:07 PM): hahahahaha
(12:55:12 PM): i am happy i met u
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:55:17 PM): i'm glad
(12:55:21 PM): yeah
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:55:39 PM): awww revealing all your feelings for me
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:55:41 PM): how cute
(12:56:46 PM): yeahh i rule
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:57:08 PM): well we'll say that
(12:57:12 PM): have to do it somtime
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:57:22 PM): haha yeah afterrrr
BeautifulLtdown7 (12:57:37 PM): 8 months hahahah
(12:57:52 PM): its takes a while for me 2 care about somone

I JUST WANT TO REMEMBER THIS.

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April 27, 2006 at 12:42am
Music: The Sounds Of Animals Fighting
Subject: Long German Song Title Goes Here!

Yeah so this is my life.

Smoke
Work
Smoke
Maybe work again if not smoke some more.
If I do work again...go out and smoke more anyways.

My life is going to end up with miniume wage jobs and just enough to get by. Doing drugs <3 and living and unfullfilling life. But you know what, why does it matter you die anyways?

Do drugs and go no where in your life. Like me.

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April 1, 2006 at 10:37pm
Music: Postal Service
Subject: We Will Become Silhouettes

I realize sometimes I talk a lot. I don't mean to. I think I do it cause idn whats wrong with me or if there even anything is. And I want to talk to see if other people see it too but I get so into what I'm saying I just carry on.

Or if I want attention.

I don't know what to believe.

I feel anxiety more and more often. Like about who I am and if other people hate me and they're going to hurt me or anything like that. Pressure, Fear, Hate. I view myself as a weird nut-basket. Or idn if that's just in my head. Or if other people see it too. Do they see it?

Tightening. Racing heart. Shallow breaths.

I talk to God. I don't hear his voice but I do it when I'm doing something really important. It reassures me, well most the time. I actually talk to God a lot and it use to be just by myself. But I did it tonight in front of a friend and I think I freaked her out.

I was proud of myself earlier but idn anymore.

I'm a fucking skummy low life person.

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March 22, 2006 at 1:27am
Music: College Radio Station
Subject: Garden State

Druggie drug drugs.

I sure love my drugs.

They get me fucked up and allow me to escape my problems.

I'm going to die like this.

WHOOT.

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