These years will measure the decline of a troubled mind. I once met a girl who told me that "uncertainty exists only in the mind" and that "there are mysterious questions, but never mysterious answers". I've carried her words in my pocket for the past 4 years; maybe as a token of better memories. I wait for her to return every day now, intent on asking for those 4 years back. But I know she'll never return; not until the coherency and perception have all run out, and those past 18 years are just a blur.
Graduate. Get a job. Get a car. Move out. Go to college. Pick a degree. Pick a career. Drop it all. Risk my life in protest. Disappear. Go Kerouac on everyone. Return. Lament. Move on. Make it all worth while. Make mom & dad proud.
Silk screen equipment. Spray paint. Oversized headphones. Coherency. A second chance. A pen that never runs out of ink. A smart dog. A trust fund. A bottle of bring-world-peace. A song that reminds me of the good ol' days. A dance with the devil. A bottomless bottle of beer. A lamborghini hot tub. My next fixation. A digital-SLR. A pair of BAPES. A super soaker full of cognac.
I ate Trix when they weren't puffs. I drank Tang back when they had the orangutan on the case. I had a social life before MySpace existed. I played Pokemon when there were only 151. I know how to knit. I've fired a rifle and handgun before. I can crack a combination lock without the combo. I cook my own Pocket PC ROMzzzz. I know how to escape police-grade handcuffs. I'm also still alive.