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Username: roguesorcerer
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elfalienvampire | January 28, 2009 at 10:05pm
Mood: sleepy
Music: Lil Wayne
Subject: snow day!!!
This is the first time I've had a snow day in college. It was actually really boring. I left my dorm a grand total of ONCE today. I know it sounds awful but I don't want another snow day tomorrow, because I want to hang out with my friends. I'm kind of torn between two courses of action regarding the upcoming weekend: should I go to the basketball doubleheader on Saturday and then get picked up afterwards to go home, go to church on Sunday and watch the Super Bowl with my family? Or should I skip the basketball game and come home Saturday morning or even Friday night because my family never gets to see me anymore? It's a difficult decision. As you can probably tell from my avatar/icon/whatever you call that picture thingy, I'm a huge fan of my school's athletics, but I'm also a huge fan of my family. It really comes down to what my mom says, after all, she's the one with the vehicle.
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nerdishh | January 10, 2009 at 1:05pm
Mood: numb
Music: Loose Ends- Imogen Heap
Subject: Ugh...
I've just been so 'ugh' recently.
I really need someone to talk to, but I don't have anyone.
Things are crashing down all around me, and I always feel sad or numb.
If I'm doing something mindless, like going on the computer or studying or watching tv, then I'm numb--but when I actually think, I'm sad.
I should probably change my mood to sad now.
I'm moving.
I'm not sad about leaving my friends because, quite frankly, I don't have any good friends here. My family is my friends.
It's a long story, but I have to choose between moving to Florida to live with my dad, or moving to Ohio to live with my mom.
I'm so torn. I love them both... a lot. My mom is my best friend, but I hate my step dad. She's in denial and won't listen to me. She always gets mad to me about him. I'm just... tired of it. I've tried to get along with him many times, but it's impossible because of all he's done in my childhood. I just hate it.
I have no reason NOT to live with my dad other than because of my mom. But now I know what people go through when they move and leave their best friend behind.
Oh god, now I'm crying.
Anyway.
I still don't know what I'm going to do.
So... sorry for... not getting on... again.
I'm just... I need someone to talk to. Anyone. I don't care. I'm tired of bottling this in. It's eating me away from inside.
);
~Nerdishh
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elfalienvampire | November 25, 2008 at 9:19pm
Mood: sleepy
Music: "The End" - the Doors
Subject: Life.
So here's my journal entry for the day. The soccer game I was looking forward to was postponed until tomorrow, so I probably won't be able to go because I'm going home tomorrow night. I ate one meal today, just like yesterday. I don't feel like myself.
I don't know how I'm going to survive Christmas break. I mean, I love my family, but this is only the fourth day I've gone without seeing my best guy friend/ex-boyfriend (and I don't mean consecutively) since I met him, and already I feel like something is missing. I think for Christmas I will ask my mom to get unlimited texting for our cell phone plan, because I know she won't let me spend my entire break on Facebook chat or AIM. And then what am I going to do come summertime? I think I might have to get my driver's license and a car for next summer: I want to actually have some fun instead of sitting around bored all summer like I usually do. Let's hope gas prices stay low.
I don't know why I can't live in the present moment. I constantly worry about the future.
You know what can cheer me up no matter what? MUSICALS. I was on the phone with my mom telling her how depresssed I've felt lately, and a song from Sweeney Todd came on, and all of a sudden, I felt so much better. And now I'm cracking up listening to Avenue Q.
This journal entry was so random. Bye!
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elfalienvampire | November 16, 2008 at 9:30pm
Mood: mellow
Subject: oh, whatever.
I've never done a journal entry on Bzoink before. I'm starting to like this site a lot. The people on here are very interesting and nice. The forums are so fun, and I haven't been ignored, flamed or made fun of, which is rare for me both online and in real life. I really like the surveys on here too, even though you kind of have to wade through the "name/age/dob" ones to get to the really deep, super-random, or amusing ones. I would rather take surveys than make them but either way it's a good time, and I love playing games on the forums: Have You Ever is my favorite. I'd really like to have more friends here. I think I shall add some now.
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nerdishh | November 6, 2008 at 7:19pm
Mood: tired
Subject: Overworked?
Homework sucks.
As it limits my computer time.
And that limits my time to make surveys.
Which has been zip recently.
Apologies.
D:
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