I'm a pirate, I live in Hyrule, I own a talking cat name Sir Poopsie, and I can't LIVE without delicious cuisine from Talon IV. Samus makes it herself. Cooks up teh Chooozo.
I want to fight a dragon and save the princess, and in the meantime, go grab something to eat at Jack in the Crack.
Some new canons for my pirate ship, a new flag...mine is torn, but not in that cool "ohhh look a creepy mast" kind of way. Just in a "oh...that poor, poor pirate...she obviously hasn't pillaged any villages lately" kind of way.
I've managed to pillage Britain, Scandanavia and most of the western region of Hyrule. I did get into Hyrule castle once, but I didn't have time to make off with the Triforce. Ganon had already taken it for himself. So I stole his Gerudo women instead. They are now my wenches.
I love my Gerudo wenches. I also love my ship, Sir Poopsie and me lucky charms.