March 17, 2010 at 9:49pm
Mood: worried
Music: Under The Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Subject: Day 76.

Richie wrecked. Bad. He's pretty banged up. He's got a big gash on his head. He's exhausted, and got dark circles under his eyes, and I'm really worried about him. :/ He came to see me for like two minutes, but he couldn't stay long. But for the two minutes he was here... he looked terrible. I hugged him so softly, but wanted to squeeze him to death. I didn't want to break him though. He can barely move. He's in so much pain. :/ Honestly, he's lucky to have survived the wreck. It kills me to think about it. He keeps taking things lightly and saying "Oh I'm fine." He's not fine. He could've died, and he even knows that. The wreck was BAD. A wheel ended up falling off the car, and the car rolled and flew and flipped. Gah. I don't know what I would've done if I would've lost him. Seriously.

Other than that, today was a good day, aside from that news. The medicine is really helping. My days are slowly getting better. :3 My grades are coming up and I'm actually caring again! I might just be a junior next year and graduate on time, when two months ago, I didn't think I'd ever make it past my freshmore status! :3

March 16, 2010 at 10:54pm
Subject: Day 75.

I'm slowly getting happier. This medicine, I think, might be the answer.

March 16, 2010 at 9:10pm
Music: Walls - All Time Low.
Subject: I'm happy if you're happy with yourself.

I'm gonna break down these walls, I built around myself.
I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now. Together we'll move on, just don't turn around. Let the walls break down.
Ah. I really love these lyrics, and this song. And just really everything about All Time Low.
School life; Really hasn't changed. Apparently we're still trying to plan out this summer camping thing. Kaity and Laura want to go to the beach, but dude, there's no way in hell that I'd be able to convince my mum to let that happen. I'll already have to lie about camping for a week, the beach only complicates things, especially the money aspect.
I liked the thought of renting a cabin or whatever, but apparently that's just not good enough? Gah. We'll have to keep discussing it, or nothing's going to happen.
Friends; I think that Max and I are kind of fighting. Especially after Saturday, because I told him how it was. He was going to be a father and he has to accept it, because it's not going to change. Plus the fact that he stole my phone and texted Byerly, which just resulted in him getting pissed off and ruining my night. Honestly, the kid isn't even hear yet and he's stressed out the wazoo. I can only imagine what's going to happen when it actually gets here.
Love; This is non-existent, so obviously nothing goes here.
Family; Just the normal family drama, nothing too exciting. My brothers aren't the nicest people in the world, but whatever, that's my problem. Also, I don't like being accused of doing drugs every fifteen minutes. Honestly, just shut up. Just because you aren't in school anymore doesn't mean that I'm a terrible person.

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March 16, 2010 at 8:54pm

Call me the boogie-monster, got you screaming to the end. Created by danceislove2409 and taken 52 times on Bzoink
What's one thing you really want right now?:	For somebody to do my homework. /:
Is there anything you're looking forward too?:	The weekend.
Are you in love?:	Sure, not that you'd really believe me.
Is love even existant at your age?:	Yes.
When was the last time you exercised enough to break a sweat?:	I don't remember.
Have you been annoyed at someone/something today?:	Yes I have. That's everyday.
Are you avoiding anybody at the moment?:	Not that I know of.
Do you get bothered when people don't talk like a civilized human-being?:	Sometimes.
Is rap your favorite genre of music?:	No. Not at all. :k
Have you ever used someone to get what you truly wanted?:	Probably.
Are you one of those people that get's jealous easily?:	Yeah.
What was your favorite show as a kid?:	Little Bear. <3.
Do you get along with your whole family?:	For the most part.
When was the last time you were sick?:	Couple weeks ago.
What's one thing you want to tell somebody right now?:	That I really do like him.
How are you today?:	I'm doing good, thanks for asking.
Has anybody close to you passed away in the last six months?:	Nope.
Have you ever lasted a relationship longer then two months?:	Yes.
At the moment, what's your favorite song?:	Walls - All Time Low.
Are you obsessed with anything?:	Harry Potter. (:
Do you think that weed/marajuana should be legalized?:	Eh. Kind of.
Is it safe to walk around your neighborhood at night?:	Not especially.
If you could visit any state/country you wanted, where would you go?:	England.
If money weren't an object, what would you do with your life?:	Everything.
Are you a fan of heights?:	I'm not bothered by them, but I'm not really a fan.
Do you think your attractive?:	No.
What is the last compliment you recieved?:	I love your hair.
Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? :	Ten. (:
Is there an instrument you can/wish you could play?:	I used to play the guitar and keyboard. I want to play the drums.
Are you artistic at all?:	Not really.
Why do you take surveys?:	Because I get bored.
Where are you?:	My kitchen.
What is your goal in life?:	Do something I enjoy.
Do you enjoy tanning?:	No. It's boring.
Is everything going your way right now?:	No.
What's one aspect of your life that you want to change?:	The me part.
Do you text more then you talk on the phone?:	Yes.
Is music a big portion of your life?:	Of course. (:
Does anybody call you 'baby'?:	No.
Have you ever written anybody an unanomus note?:	I have. Fun times.
Is there someone you want, but can't have?:	Mhm.
Have you ever broken the law?:	Yes I have.
Do you have a bestfriend?:	I have a few.
Are you scared to grow old?:	Yes.
Well, goodbye.(:
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March 16, 2010 at 6:34pm

BOYS ;
Ok, so there was a little ditty I forgot to tell you about Rosco. There was this girl that he had sex with a long time ago, and she got pregnant. He wasn't the only potential Dad but.

our conversation ;

Him- We need to talk.
Me- Ok.
Him- I just got back from the hospital. Meesha's baby is mine....
Me- Oh shit.
Him- Yeah... I don't know what I'm going to do....
Me- Are you gonna break up with me?
Me, way later. - Answer me. Are you gonna dump me?
Him- I don't know what Imma do.
Me- Ok..
Him- Look I wasn't lien when I said I loved you but now I got a kid and its going to be my life now..
Me- I love you too, I was gonna tell you this weekened.

I don't feel like writing out the rest, ha.
Basically, he confused the crap outta me.
He said he would do anything to stay with me, then he said we both know that I'm not ready for this.
Then he just stopped answering, and I haven't talked to him since thenn.

So yeah. I really do love him though, and I don't understand.
We both knew that this baby was on the way, and that there was a good chance it was his, and he didn't act like it was going to be a big deal. I don't even know what to do with myself. I feel helplessss.

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