Topic: Disconnection
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kellyburnsred


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Posted: 23 Nov 2021 11:53 AM       Subject: Disconnection
Can I ask a question? Most people prefer it how many folks are usually alone? How many prefer it? Even when I'm around people I feel alone. I don't know even my brother he got tired of waiting for others so he now prefers to just do it alone and be by himself and not wait around anymore. I understand where he's coming from. I'm alone most of the time but I know there's some good to it but it's pretty often. And like I said even when I am with others I usually don't really like it or I feel alone and awkward depending on the people. There's very few I like being around that I'm content around the circle is small.



I always feel so disconnected from society. And I know in some ways it's healthy but I think I'm alone way too much. I don't know I always have been. I haven't had a lot of friends and when I did have friends majority of them used me, took advantage me.. and weren't really good to be around so I was better off doing my own thing. Family also doesn't really bother with me or us for that matter even my mom. And my mom is very lonely and always alone too. I don't know. Some family members it's for the better because being around them was miserable anyway. This is something I deal with all the time though disconnection, confusion, isolation and the list goes on. I know I don't need a lot of people around me to be happy but I'd at least like a sidekick to once in a blue moon chill with, go to the movies.. or whatever...

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pinkchocolate

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Posted: 23 Nov 2021 07:01 PM         Subject: RE: Disconnection
I think I can relate... I live with my family, but for some reason I struggle a lot with feeling alone. It's as though I always need a friend to talk to, and when I don't hear from friends, I struggle with feeling 'lost', is the only way I can describe it. I've always felt like I don't have a lot of friends either, in fact, I seem to have more online friends, than friends I know in real life. I have a couple of good friends that I talk with every day, but I sometimes find myself questioning the connection between myself and my friends, and wondering how genuine it is. At times I feel as though I don't have much in common with some of the people I call my friends.

I'm not a very social person at all, before Covid, I only had 2 friends that I spent time with regularly in person, that was it. I feel slightly better now that my book club has started running again, because that's a social thing for me to look forward to, even if it's only once a month.

In fact, I remember telling a close friend that I have a desire to connect with others, which never seems to be quite fulfilled. The conversation came about because I told my friend that I was looking for some new penpals, and my friend was like "Why are you so desperate to have penpals?", I said "You know, to connect with people. Friendship, companionship."

I took up penpalling in the summer of last year, as a hobby, and a way to connect with some new people. Is there a hobby you'd like to try, that might help you to connect with some new people too? Or anywhere close to you, that runs any clubs related to a particular interest. My local public library, for example, they run the book club that I go to, and other clubs, like arts and crafts, and some history courses. Is there anywhere near you that runs any clubs like that, that you could try?

Feeling disconnected was part of the reason that I came back to Bzoink in the first place, and part of the reason why I started using the forums. I was feeling lonely during the first lockdown and I just wanted to feel some kind of connection with others. I hope you're okay ❤️
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kellyburnsred


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Posted: 24 Nov 2021 01:59 PM         Subject: RE: Disconnection
That's exactly why I started using Bzoink. And I can relate to having more friends online compared to in real life. And the folks I consider friends most of them are guys I don't have many girlfriends and most of them different places. I don't drive so in order for me to go see people I have to rely on buses. I also moved to a new state I have no idea about clubs or groups or anything yet. I am also technically right now "homeless" I've been staying at a shelter I consider it in transition compared to using the term homeless. I am not a very social person either and most people my age I don't really enjoy the same stuff. I'm not really into going to parties, I don't drink often at all once in a blue moon. I would love to join a board game club or something I love arts and crafts, board games, card games... and most of the time even in school I usually talked to staff compared to my peers. I think I've always been more mature than those my age. Sorry if my grammar and formation isn't correct. I don't know it takes me also a while to warm up and feel comfortable around anyone honestly. I also love music mainly rock.
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pinkchocolate

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Posted: 24 Nov 2021 08:51 PM         Subject: RE: Disconnection
Hmm, a friend of mine suggested that the reason I was lonely was related to "lack of peers", as he put it, because currently, I don't really get to speak to anyone around my own age, except messaging through social media. He said that I "lack peers with whom I share common interests or a strong bond". I get told that I act old for my age as well, my friend has said a few times that I have "old woman energy". At the moment, the only "social" thing I do is my book club, which is once a month. The other ladies are all older than me, but they are really nice. I feel like I need something to get me out of the house more often, I just don't really know where to go. I can also relate to your problem with needing to use public transport to go and see friends, because I don't drive either.

I can't imagine how it must feel to have moved somewhere entirely new by yourself, so I hope you can find some friends who are close to you. A board game club sounds fun, if you can find something like that somewhere close by. I relate a lot to what you're saying and I wish I could say more that would help. If I lived near you, I'd probably invite you to come and hang out with me. :(
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